I have the luxury of seeing films for free, but I value my time, it is precious to me, and when I see a film that wastes my time, I get angry because quite often the movie should never have been made in the first place. THAT to me is a bad film, when you time has been wasted in every way, when there is not a single redeeming quality. I do not care about budget, I do not care who is involved, if it is bad I call it bad. With that said, here is the list of worst movies of the 21st century.
1. Battlefield Earth (2000)
A John Travolta vanity project, based on the L. Ron Hubbard book about Scientology (metaphorically) the film is a science fiction film with Travolta as a nine foot alien. The film sucked on so many levels it is impossible to find a single redeeming quality. Just wretched. Bad effects, terrible looking, and acting that’s so terrible it is hard to explain how it even got made. How did the great Forest Whitaker ever get tied up in this disaster?
2. Swept Away (2002)
Guy Ritchie made the huge mistake of remaking the classic Lina Wertmuller film, then made a greater mistake casting his wife, Madonna as the elitist shipwrecked with a servant. They fall in lust, then love, she bending to his will, but it is hardly believable. It is in fact downright appalling and embarrassing. It might be the worst performance of her career, she has been terrible so often, and the most terrible remake of all time.
3. The Wicker Man (2006)
A remarkably bad remake of a cult classic that sees Nicolas Cage in a strange world where women dominate and seem to worship bees. The Great Ellen Burstyn must have needed a pay cheque, that is the only thing explaining her presence in this true horror show.
4. Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Who thought anyone would be interested in a film starring bizarre comic Tom Green? Is the high point of this listening to him sing “Daddy would you like some sausage?” I mean, who cares? Someone got fired for this as they should have.
5. The Human Centipede (2009)
Sickening does not even begin to describe this horrific horror film that crosses so many lines to become horror porn torture porn. Crazy doctor decide to make a human centipede by attaching three people together, mouths to anus connecting them. I am not kidding? Could I make something that appalling up? I think not. The eyes of the actors say it all…what did I get into here? You will not forget anytime soon you saw it, and that is most certainly not a good thing.
6. Pinocchio (2002)
Oscar winner Roberto Benigni decided for his follow up act, his encore he would portray the little puppet come to life, choosing to portray him with a screeching falsetto voice. It is beyond bad, it is beyond embarrassing, not to just in the film but for we poor folks having to watch it. It is like Benigni sold his soul for the Oscar and the devil came to collect. One of the worst films ever made by an Oscar nominated actor.
7. Glitter (2001)
Glitter or litter, which is it? I can never tell. The sad part is Mariah Carey can act, as she more than proved in Precious (2009) as the compassionate social worker. In this, she is simply a joke, and a bad one.
8. Jack and Jill (2011)
When will they stop making films with Adam Sandler? His time has come and gone, and though he is not without talent, he tends to make crappy films in an attempt to showcase his comedic gifts. This time out he plays the title roles, twins, with Al Pacino as himself falling in love with Jane. Is this really the gpbest script he is being offered, Pacino? I mean seriously? And he stinks!! The whole film is like enduring a meal of all the foods you hate, knowing you must consume it to get out of the room. Ugh.
9. The Room (2003)
If you do not know why, then why are reading this site? Bad beyond belief. I have made every attempt to erase it from my mind, and failed.
10. Bad Santa 2 (2016)
I loved Bad Santa (2003) the first film, just loved it for its black comedy, irreverence and Billy Bob Thornton’s wonderful performance as Willy, a department store Santa with eyes on the safe filled with shoppers cash on Christmas Eve. Reunited with his partner in crime, Marcus, and this time even his nasty criminal lifer mom, Kathy Bates in full bitch mode, Willy is as bad as he ever was, but we have seen it before, and done better. Just not funny.