Anantha Krishnan
Gloria Guida is a standout in the erotica industry. Back in her prime (during the ’70s, that is), she used to be one of the most popular sleaze actresses in the world, and understandably so, since she had both a charming persona and breathtakingly good looks (and, you know, willingness to show a lot of skin). Mostly known for her work in light-hearted Italian sex comedies, her filmography is interesting because of how similar in style most of her pictures are, despite being handled by various directors and producers. Her cinema isn’t something I’d say has artistic merit, and that’s simply because her works were more-or-less churned out with near-nothing budgets and terrible writing backing up each endeavor.
All that being said though, her role in shaping the sex-exploitation genre (of which she was a staple resource) is not to be forgotten. Usually playing the innocent dirty girl, Guida has left her mark in film history, and for that reason alone, I think it’s important that we look into her works. Here’s the list of top Gloria Guida films selected from her vast filmography. You can watch some of these best Gloria Guida movies on Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime.
10. La Novizia (1975)
Okay, there are a couple of scenes in this film that are so memorable that they have been etched onto my brain. ‘La Novizia’ is a terrible flick, completely forgettable plot-wise and featuring one of Guida’s few performances that she doesn’t feel cut out for. She plays a nun who takes care of a dying old man, one whose nephew has come around to pay a visit. He’s the love interest, of course, but there’s really no electricity to be found between the lovers, and that’s possibly the film’s biggest flaw. It’s got ample exploitative nudity, but carries a style that is so unfocused (even for a sleaze-flick like this) that by the end, your purposes for finishing the movie converge to just one. That little aspect of it, though, I find appreciable, re-confirming my decision to put it on this list.
9. La Minorenne (1974)
‘La Minorenne’ is a by-the-numbers Guida film (I mean, that’s a way to describe her filmography as a whole, but this one in particular is mostly ordinary), following one of those typical sex comedy cliche stories, with her playing a catholic schoolgirl who falls in love with a native sculptor from her place after conducting excruciatingly long ‘trial and error’s with a couple other boys she meets along the way. There’s nothing amusing about this film, but I did enjoy just how incredibly insane its first quarter was, what with completely nonsensical occurings and strange scenarios that call for sudden, softcore banging. It is a very interesting film, if you see it for reasons other than seeping artistic excellence from its veins, but even if you go for fun, there isn’t much to be had. Guida, as always, is fantastic to look at, and she isn’t too bad in her role.
8. La Ragazzina (1974)
This is Gloria Guida’s debut feature, made when she was really young, something the film took major advantage of. Her youth plays the star in this coming-of-age flick about love, lust, and betrayal, and put on the pedestal are Monica and her boyfriend Leo, both of whom secretly perform shady activities (like pimping) and have crushes on people, unbeknown to each other. There’s more love triangles in here than most audiences can keep track of, but in retrospect, only one of them really matters, between Monica, her art teacher Bruno, and Leo. This film has quite a bit of nudity from the name it would aid in making a household one, and it has something of a plot that invites a little bit of interest. On the whole though, ‘La Ragazzina’ is not any different from the rest of those skin-flicks, sheepishly relying on its unfunny cast to do and say what might have otherwise been hilarious things.
7. Blue Jeans (1975)
Starting off with a god-awful song about how good blue jeans (the really, really, really short ones) look on women, this film features a plot that I think would’ve leaned a little drier on the incest tone, had it been one of those features with a respectable studio backing it up. Since it isn’t, what we have are a lot of butt shots and sex scenes, with a story about Guida’s character falling for a man who could very well be her long-lost father (based on the claims she makes following an arrest). She is sent to live with him, and this causes trouble to ensue (in that always-cheap, always-sexual style) which involves a lot of nudity, a lot of seduction, and very little character development or story structure. This is one of Guida’s most popular films, with fans of it all around the world even today. It’s tough to call this anything but sleaze though, and so I won’t even try.
6. Peccati di Gioventu (1975)
This is a nasty film, something that tries to be other than a comedy, playing around with manipulation of the mind. I’m sure saying it like that makes you think more of the film than it actually is. A woman isn’t happy with her father’s bride-to-be, and tries everything in her power to get rid of her. This includes involving her own boyfriend in the act to try and seduce the older woman, and taking advantage of information relating to the fiancee’s past (like a film of this sort could get out without something like that). Gloria Guida is especially good-looking here, and she isn’t too bad in her role either. Though this film feels lacking in nearly every department, it is quite an interesting take and worth the watch nonetheless. I wouldn’t go on to say Guida was a great actress, but she’s pretty good here, the why of which I’m not exactly so sure of myself.
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5. The Teasers (1975)
I think it’s safe to say that 1975 was Guida’s best year in film. Though none of her pictures can be considered masterpieces or deserving of critical acclaim, they can be seen as fun mindless sex flicks (which is exactly what they are, by the way). ‘The Teasers’ is an interesting film made along the lines of ‘Porky’ and ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’, featuring Guida as a schoolgirl who looks exceptionally good and uses that to charm her fellow students and teachers. It’s your average “kid-does-something-wrong-and-learns-a-lesson” story, more in the sense of a realization, but it has all those fun little self-aware high school tropes. There’s no doubting its stupidity, but it understands just how stupid it is, and sorta takes advantage of that in a way. There’s nothing memorable about this film, but it is a fun time, especially with a sedated, thoughtless mind.
4. L’affittacamere (1976)
This is an inventive sex comedy, and though it suffers from that campiness that Guida’s cinema has so very well become accustomed to, it’s pretty harmless overall and a good watch if you’ve got nothing better to do. The film is about two sisters whose aunt gives off a farmhouse to them as pension. People come from far and wide over time to stay at the place, and they are treated to rather well (if you can get the context of my meaning) by one of the sisters, named Giorgia, played by Guida. Thus commences what I believe to be unconvincing imitations of slapstick and other comedy cliches of the olden days of cinema. What I mean to say by that is, most of this film’s humor comes from sight gags and overblown scenarios, and they’re not too bad. Guida shines here, I really like how she manages her role and creates something of a character depth to the woman she plays, despite most of that being consumed in flirtation and staring seductively (not a bad thing, I suppose).
3. That Malicious Age (1975)
This is definitely one of Guida’s craziest movies. While it does tail on borderline nonsense at times, it is actually quite fun, and revels in the sexiness of its characters. Perhaps the only one of her films to feature scenes that are memorable, ‘That Malicious Age’ has her playing Paola, the daughter of a man into whose mansion the protagonist arrives, looking for work as a gardener. Once there, he becomes the victim of seduction as both the owner’s ex-wife and daughter take an interest in him. Flirtation ensues, and beside it follows cheap trashy comedy. Most of the humor relies on Napoleone, the protagonist, trying to sort out how he can get Paola to fall for him while keeping her mother away, since he has no interest in her. What’s funny is how this seemingly warm film suddenly creeps up on you with its violence, brought on by jealousy over a fisherman eyeing Paola.
2. Il Gatto Mammone (1975)
If someone were to ask me what film I thought Guida was most stunning in (in terms of looks), I’d answer with this one in a jiff. While this may also be one of her most bland performances, the film works as a whole because it has an actually engaging story and some fun characters. Focusing on a couple that unfortunately cannot conceive a child, this comedy follows the crazy situations that pop up after a surrogate mother (played by Gloria Guida) enters into their lives. The jokes and dialogues in this picture are mostly cheap, but they are backed by this fresh sense of zeal, which makes the experience watchable as a whole. Surprisingly featuring some excellent supporting performances, Guida manages to be the highlight of this feature despite having a late arrival. This is a film I’d warrant for a couple of rewatches, because it’s fun, and it knows it’s fun, and that’s good.
1. To Be Twenty (1978)
‘To Be Twenty’ is one of the more entertaining sex flicks out there, and due credit has to be given to its deserving female leads Lilli Carati and Guida. Partly a road trip movie and partly a lovemaking surreal piece, what makes this picture stand out could be how utterly weird it is. Whether the location is the inside of a car or the interior of a supermarket, the protagonists find some way to throw a flustered tantrum, often leading to skin-show or someone getting turned on. There’s a gimmick of a rape scene that’s in there for no purpose, but it’s still one of the strangest of its kind, especially considering the way it is initiated. The second half focuses on this hotel room wherein the women stay with a silent monk who is… well, I can’t describe him as anything other than this weird, silent man (and timely observer when the sex ensues). Although the movie is fun and relaxing as it starts out, it suddenly takes an unexpected dark turn, and I believe the motive is to send a social message of some sort. While I can’t be too sure about that, I can tell you that this film is unlike pretty much anything you’ve ever seen, and that is reason enough to check it out as soon as possible.
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