The Ultimatum Queer Love: Where Are The Couples Now? Who Are Still Together?

Image Credit: Simone Thompson/Netflix

If there’s one thing Netflix’s ‘The Ultimatum: Queer Love’ makes evident, it’s that romance, relationships, rights, and reality television are honestly never as easy or elementary as they seem. After all, this original production revolves around a group of proud LGBTQ+ individuals as they navigate the crossroads they’ve reached in their quest to attain future marriage/familial stability. So now, if you simply wish to learn more about them — with a specific focus on their current standing, especially considering the fact filming took place in 2021 — we’ve got the details for you.

Xander and Vanessa Are Maintaining Distance Post-Breakup

Although it was Xander Boger (she/her/they) who’d given Vanessa Papa (she/her) an ultimatum following four years together, they themself became the one responsible for the final decision. That’s because during their initial 3-week trial marriage with Yoly Rojas, they actually fell in love — it wasn’t their intention to hurt their original partner, but they did always want different things. It thus comes as no surprise this duo not only didn’t walk away hand in hand but also never rekindled their connection once the cameras stopped rolling despite deeply caring a lot for each other.

Coming to Xander and Vanessa‘s personal standing, it seems like they’re both focusing on their respective lives as well as careers at the moment, all the while maintaining some healthy distance. This is actually to such an extent that the once-couple doesn’t even mutually follow one another on social media, let alone keep in touch through the bare minimum of likes and comments. Plus, the former is currently based in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii, as a physical therapist, whereas the latter relocated to Los Angeles, California, sometime in 2022 to pursue her dreams in entertainment.

Yoly and Have Separated Now

Yoly Rojas (she/her) admittedly had a few issues in the bond she shared with Mal Wright (she/her/they) prior to giving them an ultimatum after three years of dating, but they had concerns too. However, no one could’ve ever expected they’d eventually walk away into the sunset as an engaged couple despite the triangle with Xander, only to soon realize their doubts were not unfounded. In other words, even this duo is no longer romantically involved in any manner — per their own narrative in the reunion, they knew they’d split up within two weeks of the experiment being over.

As for Yoly and Mal’s current whereabouts, while the professional fashion stylist still primarily resides in Chicago, Illinois, her ex-lover/the former athelete is now a habitant of Seattle, Washington. Though their interpersonal situation is quite a bit different since they’ve managed to maintain a good rapport despite the fact they parted ways for good — with no intentions of ever intimately reuniting. In fact, there’s a sense of respect they both hold for the affinity they once shared, as made evident by their staying in positive touch through likes, comments, as well as posts on Instagram.

Lexi and Rae Are No Longer Together

While there’s no denying Lexi Cayla Goldberg (she/her) was the youngest cast member, she was arguably one of the most mature owing to her communication skills and strong-mindedness. Therefore, when she gave Raelyn “Rae” Cheung-Sutton (she/her) an ultimatum following over three years together, she knew it was her heart’s true desire rather than some naive fantasy she had. We were thus obviously over the moon as the couple gradually worked through their differences, realized their individual self-worth, and still chose to continue loving one another in the end.

But alas, although Lexi and Rae were doing great by the time the reunion special was filmed earlier in 2023, they soon called off their engagement as they just weren’t right for one another. There remains an immense level of respect, love, as well as care between the Costa Mesa Social Media Personality and the hopeful Los Angeles-based Software Engineer, yet there’s no romance. The former has actually since moved on — “I found somebody that gives me all of the love and happiness I felt with Mal [my trial wife, who is now family], mixed with an intimacy that we’re exploring.”

Tiff and Mildred Have Broken Up

Well, if not anything else, we can definitely state that things between Tiff Der (they/them) and Mildred Areli Bustillo (she/her) were never boring — in fact, it was intense to an unfathomable degree. This much is something the former had expressed in the first episode itself, especially by claiming this vigor had a way of seeping into their troubles as well, making them incredibly tumultuous. However, they never could’ve imagined their love-born ultimatum engagement would end with them calling the police for violence after she threw a pet gate at them following an argument.

There were certainly some other issues between this couple as well, yet the fact of the matter remains they parted ways and have since decided to cease all contact in the hopes of moving on. Coming to Tiff and Mildred’s present standing, while the former is thriving in San Diego as the host of ‘Fweebs Podcast,’ the mother of one as well as entrepreneur is actually a Zumba instructor. Moreover, we should mention they’re both single at the moment, but the rising public figure is admittedly actively dating in the hopes of finding their forever partner — ideally, someone with a “gentle spirit.”

Sam and Aussie Are Still in Love

If we’re being honest, we did not see anyway Sam Mark (she/her) and Aussie Chau (Aussie) could make their relationship work owing to the former’s decision to finally choose herself as well as the latter’s issues with difficult conversations (stemming from childhood trauma), but we couldn’t be happier to be proven wrong. Not only did this duo get engaged at the end of ‘The Ultimatum,’ but they remain blissfully together to this day — The secret? They worked hard to find a growing balance in how they cope with their problems and continue to actively love one another every single day.

“We came first, and then the relationship came second,” Sam recently said, making it clear this is now a rule they follow. “If it was meant to be, then we’ll come back together, but we put everything in it for our own journeys and healing.” To this, Aussie added, “I really am so lucky to be with this person” before revealing they’re “slowly getting [ready to tie the knot], but I just have so much groundwork that I’m doing with my life [in terms of my self-discovery in gender identity] that that’s kind of taken priority.” It’s imperative to note that while Sam is a Certified Tarot Healer, Mental Health Advocate, as well as a Conscious Altruism Movement Enthusiast, Aussie is working on themself while also raising awareness about their community and trying to make a difference in this world.

Read More: Is The Ultimatum: Queer Love Real or Scripted?