Helmed by Jesse Eisenberg, ‘A Real Pain‘ follows two estranged cousins, David and Benji Kaplan, who travel to Poland in the wake of their grandmother’s death. As they look to reconnect and reconcile their bond, the pair end up visiting the Holocaust memorials scattered around the country in an effort to explore their Jewish heritage. However, this newfound appreciation of their generational history brings doubts regarding their strained relationship and the personal traumas engulfing their psyche. The buddy comedy-drama film explores themes like complex familial dynamics and cultural identity through a road trip narrative that walks the tightrope between amusing and deeply poignant. Thus, if you enjoyed its blend of self-discovery and trauma healing, here is a list of movies similar to ‘A Real Pain’ worth watching.
10. When You Finish Saving the World (2022)
‘When You Finish Saving the World‘ is a Jesse Eisenberg directorial, revolving around the strained relationship between Evelyn and Ziggy, a mother-son duo who fail to understand one another because of a personal, ideological, and generational divide. While Evelyn runs a shelter for domestic abuse survivors, her son Ziggy is busy in his own world of music, fostering online connections. Like ‘A Real Pain,’ the attempts at connection between Evelyn and Ziggy lead to moments of tension and humor, which are reminiscent of the dynamics between David and Benji. Both stories blend humor and emotional depth to present a genuine and believable narrative. The comedy-drama is based on Eisenberg’s eponymous 2020 audio drama.
9. The Piano Lesson (2024)
Adapted from August Wilson’s eponymous 1987 play, ‘The Piano Lesson‘ chronicles the life and exploits of a family in 1930s Pittsburgh who become engulfed in a generational story revolving around a prized family heirloom – a piano. While Berniece, the matriarch of the family, sees it as a symbol of their family’s identity, history, and culture, her brother, Boy Willie, plans to use it to achieve financial freedom in the household. The Malcolm Washington directorial centers on the familial drama between the siblings and their relatives as they decide what is best for their house moving forward, capturing much of the same tension in ‘A Real Pain.’ Both narratives may differ contextually, but their emphasis lies on the emotional complexities of generational trauma and personal conflicts.
8. Our Idiot Brother (2011)
‘Our Idiot Brother‘ follows Ned Rochlin, a well-meaning farmer whose wife leaves him after a short prison stint. Subsequently, he moves in with his sister, Liz, disrupting her life and the lives of their other two siblings, Miranda and Natalie. Although the three sisters have deep-seated ambitions and aspirations, their brother’s amusing exploits expose their secrets, which leads to embarrassing situations. However, with time, his presence makes them honest about their vulnerabilities, ultimately leading to greater healing.
Both ‘Our Idiot Brother’ and ‘A Real Pain’ align with each other through the characters of Ned and Benji, the intolerable figures within their respective families. Their carefree and honest nature often leads to awkward moments for others but also opens the door for everyone to acknowledge their flaws openly. Additionally, the Jesse Peretz directorial embraces a humorous tone to tackle the more prescient themes of complex family bonds and personal healing.
7. This Is Where I Leave You (2014)
Directed by Shawn Levy, ‘This Is Where I Leave You‘ tells the story of four estranged siblings who take a trip to their childhood home to mourn their father’s death. While staying over for a week, the family begins to unravel the deep psychological struggles and tensions that have remained unresolved in the household, sparking difficult conversations that border on awkwardness and amusement. The film is adapted from the eponymous 2009 novel by Jonathan Tropper, diving into similar territory charted by ‘A Real Pain.’ In both narratives, personal history, identity, and self-discovery play an integral role as characters try to figure out the extent of their issues and the divide that has crept up between them, especially in the wake of a family member’s passing.
6. The Meyerowitz Stories (2017)
‘The Meyerowitz Stories’ centers on three adult siblings – Danny, Matthew, and Jean Meyerowitz – whose inability to reconnect with their father, Harold, lead to the reopening of old wounds. Struggling to keep up with their father’s expectations, the siblings begin to find common ground after years of estrangement, fostering new avenues of healing. If you enjoyed the nuanced exploration of familial dynamics in ‘A Real Pain,’ the Noah Baumbach directorial examines those same weighty themes in a poignant and somber manner. Both stories depict the painfulness of connecting with family members in an honest way, opening up a treasure trove of hurt that can be impossible to navigate at times, which is akin to real life in all its complexities.
5. The Savages (2007)
Written and directed by Tamara Jenkins, ‘The Savages’ follows estranged brother and sister Jon and Wendy Savage, two siblings in their 40s who have to confront their father’s aging and ailing health by taking care of him. After facing difficulties in providing him with adequate help, the two begin grappling with their personal unresolved issues and their conflicted relationship with one another.
Similar to ‘A Real Pain,’ ‘The Savages’ explores themes of family dynamics, estranged relationships, emotional journeys, and personal trauma. The two stories highlight the importance of confronting the painful past that exists within households through difficult conversations that hurt and heal in equal measure, allowing individuals to grow and let go of anchors that weigh them down.
4. His Three Daughters (2023)
‘His Three Daughters‘ is a poignant drama about three sisters – Katie, Rachel, and Christina – who reunite in their childhood New York City home to take care of their rapidly deteriorating father. When tensions flare between the sibling trio, they have to confront the unresolved tensions in their past while also dealing with the anxiety of losing their father soon. His impending death becomes the catalyst for further growth and honesty from each sister as they look to forge better connections and move past their differences.
Written, directed, and co-produced by Azazel Jacobs, ‘His Three Daughters’ addresses the same thematic elements present in ‘A Real Pain,’ particularly its exploration of long-held resentments, misunderstandings, and miscommunication. With time, characters in both narratives start exposing their deep-seated vulnerabilities, leading to cathartic moments where all the hurt, humor, grief, regrets, and frustrations overlap one another in a messy but authentic way.
3. The Squid and the Whale (2005)
Set in 1980s Brooklyn, ‘The Squid and the Whale‘ is a comedy-drama revolving around Bernard and Joan Berkman, a married couple whose divorce leads to an emotional fallout for their two sons, Walt and Frank. After the dissolution of their parent’s relationship, both brothers begin moving apart, taking sides in their parent’s battle with one another. Eventually, it leads to conflicts between the pair and a deterioration in their relationship moving forward. Written and directed by Noah Baumbach, the 2005 movie captures the long-lasting impacts of parental failure on children, which mirrors the way David and Benji struggle with their family history and their own relationship with one another in ‘A Real Pain.’ There is a recurring motif of generational trauma reverberating through both stories, which shapes individuals and characters in unforeseen ways.
2. The Farewell (2019)
‘The Farewell‘ tells the story of Billi Wang, an aspiring Chinese American writer, who learns that her grandmother, Nai Nai, has only a few months to live following a terminal lung cancer diagnosis. However, matters become complicated when Billi’s family insists on keeping the fatal diagnosis a secret from Nai Nai, instead planning to schedule a family wedding where Nai Nai can unite with every family member before her passing. Subsequently, the narrative dives into the ethical and moral quandaries of the family’s decision and the cultural divide that exists between Billi’s eastern sensibilities and her western upbringing.
Written and directed by Lulu Wang, ‘The Farewell’ and ‘A Real Pain’ align in their exploration of themes like family history and cultural identity. Billi’s Chinese heritage plays a pivotal role in how her family reacts upon hearing Nai Nai’s cancer diagnosis, which can be compared to the emotional burden shouldered by David and Benji as they confront the generational trauma of their Jewish roots and the Holocaust’s impact. Naturally, the protagonists in both narratives try to reconcile their different identities, hoping to adhere to a set of values that concurs with their personal beliefs while also allowing them to grow and change as people.
1. The Descendants (2011)
Based on Kaui Hart Hemmings’ eponymous 2007 novel, ‘The Descendants’ follows Matt King, a Honolulu-based attorney, who is forced into the difficult position of taking charge of his family following his wife’s involvement in a life-threatening boating accident. Subsequently, Matt has to deal with his two troubled daughters, Alex and Scottie, who are struggling to cope with their mother’s loss while he tries to find the truth behind his relationship with his wife.
The Alexander Payne directorial closely resembles ‘A Real Pain’ in its deep dive into complex family dynamics, forgiveness, responsibility, and self-discovery. In both narratives, characters are made to confront painful family experiences, which foster growth and a better understanding of relationships and in forming a personal identity. The film received critical acclaim for the compelling performances by George Clooney and Shailene Woodley as the father-daughter pair, Matt and Alex, respectively. It also won the Best Adapted Screenplay at the 84th Academy Awards, garnering five nominations in total.
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